As the holiday season approaches, it's easy to complain about the things we don't have or continue to want. I *want* LD to end with FH...I *want* to get married asap, I *want* my student loans to go away, etc etc.
But I'm so thankful that I have someone I'm spending forever with, I can get married to whom I choose, I have a job to pay for my student loans.
Back to that job thing. I got a job on a unit I'm familiar with, so that was nice. What I wasn't prepared for was the anxiety that comes with being an RN, being 100% responsible for someone's life, having a stranger trust you with their life, and the true meaning of being legally responsible for their care. Sure, they preach to you in nursing school about the legalities of everything, but (for me at least) it didn't sink in until it was my license on the line. I am constantly tachycardic while working, I wake up in a cold sweat thinking about charting (Did I chart that? Did I chart it properly? Did my unstable pt survive the day shift? Did I do everything I could to ensure they are healing? If they code, did I do everything in my power to prevent that?...and the list keeps going), I call the unit to make sure the nurse knows XY&Z even if I'm 90% sure I told her in report...if I don't have a stomach ulcer by the time I retire..it'll be a miracle! Everyone tells me it's because I'm a good nurse, but how true is that? I don't feel like I am. I ask a million and one questions, I'm constantly second guessing myself, I'm afraid when I call the dr I don't have the proper information readily available and they'll get mad at me (this has yet to happen).
The thing that is nice is the paycheck, which is the furthest thing from my mind while I'm working...I have little time to think of things like money, shoot--I can barely remember to go to the bathroom! I've been able to pay towards my student loans quite a bit, thanks to my parents allowing me to live at home, rent free, in the agreement I pay like crazy towards the loans.
Found a great group on FB to support doctor's wives and although FH isn't a dr quite yet, they're very welcoming & supportive. Many other MSI&II's SO are in the group. That's refreshing because whenever someone catches wind that I'm marrying a doctor, they think $$$$$$$. Add a (-) in front of that and you've got it perfectly right!!!
I'm hoping to use this blog a bit more. I think it'll allow me to understand the process of MS more than just floating out in thin air.
As far as wedding planning goes, we've got the big stuff booked...oh yeah, except the officiant. Kind of important, huh? I'm so excited we're able to throw a nice, beautiful wedding, just as I always dreamed (but better) for over 200 people for $10,000. In my area, that's great! Sure, it's a lot to spend on a wedding, but it's not a lot when you see what all we're getting with that. We've been incredibly blessed to have the help of our parents to pay for the wedding. It's a rare thing these days, but they're graciously picking up the tab (to a certain limit, then it's our responsibility).
As winter draws near, so does SKIING season!!! For Christmas, my parents bought me a season pass for the local slope. Even though FH will only be home for 2 weeks, I get 2 free lift passes for someone to use and (I think) 2 free rentals for someone to use. So happy I'll get to use those AND he gets to come with us! A day of skiing is expensive, so the ski pass (and my own skis) helps to cut back on that, and the free passes make it easier for FH & I to have fun together. He'll use my parent's helmet to protect that $200,000 head of his.
Over & out. I need to go to bed, get some shut eye before work tonight (7p-7a). Excited to work night shift, it brings in about $500/month in addition to my hourly wage.
